WINTER - 2008
Let me back up the time-travel machine to December 2007... my parents had a long-cherished plan to go to Mexico for five weeks. My mother was also sick for a lot of the fall with an unknown illness that was so painful her eyeballs hurt, it was difficult for her to swallow water never mind eat and she had next to no immune system left because of her cancers. We were very worried. One week (or so) before my parents were due to fly south my mom finally got in front of a specialist who recognized that she had a severe infection in a disc in her neck. The illness had progressed to the point that the specialist was shocked she was walking with such an unstable neck, immediately placed her on intravenous antibiotics and told her she was lucky not to be a quadrapalegic. Since she needed to visit the hospital once every three days, it was impossible for her to go to Mexico. Also, my parents couldn't get their money back at such a late date, and my dad wasn't going to go without her. Then Colin came up with a solution.
Colin suggested Callum and I go to Mexico with my dad and that my mom stay with him. He could monitor her and we lived only three blocks from the hospital. What followed was a flurry of financial finnagaling (sp?), a panic over Callum's expired passport, and a setting up of alternative care for my daycare clients. And then suddenly Callum and I and my dad and his friend were in the Seattle airport at 1:00 am and wide awake. Callum was thrilled.
What followed was not so romantic for my mother and Colin, but was a wonderful vacation in a sun-drenched location for the rest of us. Callum spent every second day in the pool, ALL day, and learned to swim and dive and even do crazy stunts that stopped my heart and kept me on my toes like trying to somersault into the water off of concrete. Alternative days we went exploring or for lengthy breakfasts or grocery shopping and beach walking. I learned a lot about the culture of my family, how much I play martyr, and how lovely it is to have a Corona a day and watch a dubbed action movie every night. Mostly I appreciated the unique opportunity to get to know my dad better ... and my mom as it turned out.
In the first two weeks Alexander, my parents' friend, was with us, and it was fun being part of such an odd foursome. The Time Share people just couldn't figuere us out. Two older men, a young (ish) woman and a wee boy .... gotta wonder. The last two weeks my mom was able to join us. What a celebration and a great place to heal. During this time though, Callum got bronchitis of the larynx and trachea. It was terrifying. I'm adventurous and had been wishing that I could do something I had never done before, but this was not it. Having my child almost stop breathing in a country where I don't speak the language was right up there next to "feed a shark my left arm". But it happened, and the health professionals were exceptional. Callum loved the return ride in the ambulance because the driver let him sit in the passenger seat up front and work the siren. He was equally thrilled by the golf cart ride back to our hotel room and the fact that he was allowed unlimited popsicles for the next few days. Does it get any better than that?
In the meantime, back in Canada, Colin got to go on a training course in Texas, went snowboarding, ate a lot of pizza, and was chosen to do technical support in Boston.
SPRING
The spring found us busy working on personal goals, enjoying our community, reveling in the fact that the west coast of Canada starts getting blossoms and daffodils in February rather than wallowing in mud for several months like the rest of Canada (Poor sods. To make them feel better we tell them it rains all the time).
In April Colin applied for a training job in France - a transfer within Schneider Electric. He didn't receive that job but was asked if he was interested in shifting from N. America techical support in Victoria to global tech support in France, with potential for some on-site Application Engineering opportunities. What followed was to be an on-again off-again roller-coaster that lasted until the middle of December. Many factors fed into the uncertainty, like the global economic crisis which next to nobody predicted, but it amazes me now that the process started way back in spring and yet we still ended up feeling so rushed and unprepared at the end. Perhaps that's how it is sometimes with the big shifts in life. Shift happens.
Colin also spent a lot of the spring focusing on teaching and practicing Jujitsu in preparation for his Black Belt test. And we took a parenting course together. What was magic about this was that my folks watched Callum once a week and Colin and I had an uninterupted conversation every Wednesday! Can you say, "On the same page"? Valuable lessons: I learned to use one word rather than blast a distractable Callum with a barrage of instructions when trying to keep on time, and to make everything into a game.
Things I was into:
1. PEP - Peek-a-Boo Expeditions Playgroup: My daycare based on adventure learning. The interaction between Callum and Owen (the boy I've been taking care of for the last three and a half years and who has become one of the family) and the other kids in my professional and personal life (Miles and Reese, Malcolm, Lily and Johnny, Millie and Max, Dono, Lucas and Seelja, Isobel and Maya, all the kids from the preschool and my moms' group, etc. Lots of wee vivacious and self-determined spirits have blessed my life and Callum's these last few years). They keep me fresh. We had daily adventures on double-decker buses, at the University of Victoria, on beaches, in fields, around Butchart Gardens, at Mount Tolmie and Mt. Doug, and downtown at places like Miniature World and the petting zoo. Callum and Owen's conversations about Guardian Angels, Transformers, sea creatures, Star Wars, street cleaners, etc. were always entertaining and sometimes frighteningly enlightening. I reveled in their curiousity.
2. The VIC-RWA - Vancouver Island Chapter of the Romance Writers of America. What a wonderful and tremendously talented group. I feel priviledged to be part of an organization that exudes such professionalism, creativity and camaraderie. These people have guided me through the process of writing three books (I provided the sweat); two erotic romance novels and one young adult adventure. None of them are published ... yet. I'm also glad I had a chance to give back to these people by being a member of the Executive during the 2007-2008 fiscal year.
3. OBPOP - Oak Bay Parent-Operated Preschool. Another amazing organization, led by preschool teacher Sue. It was joyful. I was on the Executive for this group as well. I thrived on the passion people had for parenting and on our shared desire to instill a foundation of compassion, responsibility and self-confidence in our children.
4. COMMUNITY - Since Callum was less than one year of age I have been hanging out with a group of women that has swelled to 16 families. What a fabulous network. The gals try to meet up once a month to chat and eat chocolate or other succulent gastronomic items, and we also meet up for playdates and as families. It broadens the minds of all of us.
5. "The GREAT Walk" and the "Weekend to End Cancer" - This year was about health and exercise. My initial goal was the Gold River to Tahsis GREAT walk. It sounded so outrageous I just couldn't help myself. Up at midnight to catch a bus for a 4:00 am start to walk 63.5 km along logging roads ... irrisistable! Along with a few friends I trained like crazy so that we could do 30 km without a blister or an ache. But then I got a cist on a nerve in my foot six weeks prior to the event and it looked like I was toast. I was crushed. I couldn't get past 5 km without breaking out in tears from the agony. Fortunately an understanding Sports Medicine Specialist stabbed me with Cortizone. Like shards of glass. Stabbing. But two weeks before the walk I was able to train again (just when I'm supposed to back off) and I managed to walk the 63.5 km without gaining a blister, and even ran the last half a kilometer (just so this guy behind me wouldn't pass me). Many many thanks to my partner in crime Gary from Tahsis, with whom I talked for 10 hours of our 12+ hour walk. He and his wife Lori even gave us a tour of Tahsis the next day. How cool is that? And many thanks to my training partners and to Lesley for driving up island and back.
The Weekend to End Cancer (Breast Cancer ... but I was raising funds and walking because of the cancer my dad had and mom has) in September was another great experience. I hung out with a fantastic group of women (Trish, Anna, Lesley, Audrey and Deanna) amongst a gazillion other people who raised an equally impressive number of dollars to fight cancer. We walked 60 km through Vancouver over two days, and stayed in a huge field of tents ( not really ... we stayed at Anna's place with a hot tub and sauna ..tee hee) and danced (really) Saturday night before getting up Sunday to walk again. Totally different than Tahsis. 1,000's of us walked along public sidewalks in crazy pink costumes trying to be gracious to oncoming pedestrian traffic, stopping to drink free coffee and then stopping again to use vendors' bathrooms, and even stopping to drink some gin and bitter lemon (ice cold and compliments of Trish) 7 hours after starting walking on the Saturday. It wasn't about achieving a personal best time, it was about community, about loving those who have been lost to cancer, about conquering fear and accepting cancer, and about overcoming the battle and achieving victory. Powerful. Personal. Prayerful.
One fellow, Chad, had many women in his life be touched or taken by cancer. He has walked every Canadian Weekend to End Breast Cancer event since they began. This year The Weekend to End Breast Cancer was taking place in Toronto at the same time as the Vancouver walk. He walked for 30 km in Toronto, then walked the last 30 km on the treadmill in Toronto before getting on a red-eye flight to Vancouver (he had steak for dinner). He then walked 30 km on a treadmill in Vancouver before joining us Sunday morning for the last 30 km. 120 km in ~ 36 hours. The whole time he carried a pair of worn sneakers, shoes that had been worn by the woman he loved. LIke I said, Powerful.
SUMMER
Black Belt: Colin was tested by Ari in July and achieved his Black Belt. It was well-earned, well attended, and agonizing to watch. His shining moment was with multiple attackers. He was so focused and proficient it was scary. Scary for the attackers. I'm glad to have him by my side while walking down dark alleys. Kick butt. Just kidding ... I'm Mennonite and I don't kick anybody.
Callum is turning into a well-rounded kid, from the physical and practical to the philosophical. A sampling of his interests are: swimming, diving (off 1 meter diving boards and he wants to go for the three meter!), building forts, creating sculptures, climbing trees (25 feet up AND down), BMXing (he could ride without training wheels before he turned 4), water pistols, beach walking, snakes, bugs, birds, sea creatures, raptors, dinosaurs, dogs, Transformers, Bionicles, books and Star Wars. He also loves being naked, dancing and jumping on beds. He does not like to sit, wear clothes or go to bed. He's compassionate (has been known to sing to crying babies in the mall until they go quiet). He's a bridger (gets lots of kids excited about the same thing) and a leader (which also can be interpreted as rebel rouser!). He's articulate, curious, a non-sleeper but an exceptional cuddler.
We were very active as a family this summer. We went camping twice in Tofino/Long Beach (with Josie and Ian and then again with Malcolm, Maggie and Franaine), the preschool went camping at Goldstream (and we met up with a FASS friend of mine there - Dave Shipley and his family - too cool that we met after not seeing each other for over a decade!) and we camped at French Beach. The wet and wild west coast is an incredible place to be. Every time I camp in B.C. I am awestruck by the magnificence of where we live.
We also did a few mini family vacations: three days in Greater Vancouver - downtown and the spectacular Aquarium in Stanley Park and then a day messing around with Grandad Terry and Grandma Shelagh in their backyard pool; a day up at Parksville playground and the Coombs market (goats on the roof and mounds of ice cream as big as your head!); and a trip to Kamloops to visit the Stodolas, bask in their company and eat all their food.
Callum and I did a couple of classic road trips with friends: Saltspring Island, Satura Island (including a visit to a winery); Courtney; Granville Island; Fort Rodd/the Lighthouse and the Medieval Village. We had friends come visit from afar, like Kelly/Sandy/Takiah/Couper, Isabelle, my sister and Richard and Richard Clarke. We're hoping we'll have lots of visitors in France too!
Callum attended soccer/tee ball camp for a week (which he hated because they made the kids stand around a lot while one ball was hit or kicked around), took swimming lessons (which he loved because he is a fish in human skin), did a lot of fishing (he can cast well but a real hook is harrowing for whomever is standing behind him) and we attended numerous park presentations on raptors, snakes and bugs. Live ones.
Three random highlights:
1. I attended a Jack Johnson concert with Josie, Ian and company. Soothed my soul. Jack is so charismatic in an understated way. Causes the audience to be open-hearted. He should run for Vice-President.
2. My folks paid for Colin and I to attend Hot Yoga for two weeks. We got totally stretched out ... to the point that Colin injured himself and realized he required knee surgery. It was an old injury that got exacerbated, but now we're glad it was taken care of before moving to France. Hot Yoga was excellent for stretching my spine and re-establishing my sense of balance and centeredness.
3. Ryan and Lisa got married. What a joy to attend a wedding where two people are so clearly meant to be together.
4. And watching the OLYMPICS! There were so many great moments in history this year (in track, gymnastics, diving, swimming) and great Canadian moments too. Go Simon Whitfield!
Three lowlights:
1. My Grandfather Penner died. He was a powerful role model for me, so that was tough. He, of all people, understood my gypsy spirit, the pull to pursue adventure and circumnavigate the planet.
2. My mom started chemotherapy. She had 8 sessions in total. She's finished now and in better shape than when she started. I ached for her. And for my dad. Scary shit.
3. One of my sister-in-law's split with her husband. They have three kids so they've been very respectful, but having been through a divorce I would not wish the experience on anyone. I admire how they are dealing with it all, and the kids too.
FALL
Gosh, it all went by so quickly and I've been way too long-winded already. If you've read this far you are a true friend or an avid reader or just determined to finish what you've started! The three main things in the fall were my mom's chemo, Colin's application for a transfer to France and the discovery of Callum's food sensitivities. Callum had 48 food sensitivities!!! But thank goodness we figuered out part of what was going on for him. He was itchy all the time, had night terrors several times a week, wasn't sleeping through the night, would have episodes of maniacal laughter and impulsive/non-compassionate behaviour, and would lose his sense of physical boundaries (ie. run into the fridge by mistake). It was awful. He would say to me in a scared voice, "Mom, I can't control my body." And we would see in his eyes that he was going vacant.
When I put him on the cleanse his night terrors ceased in two nights and he started sleeping through the night, in a week the bumps on his skin began to disappear, he calmed down and became more thoughtful and compassionate (although still a rascal), and two weeks later he told us, "I was itchy all the time". He became more in control of his body, his verbage and his social interactions. Because he's 4 we don't always agree with his choices ... but he's making choices as opposed to impulsively acting. Now we're slowly integrating foods back into his diet, keeping track of which ones cause itchiness, tiredness, sleeplessness or hyperactivity. So far, milk, wheat, grapes, red food colouring and oranges definitely send him to the moon and back.
One of my goals for 2009 was to do the UBC Olympic-length triathlon or the one in Paris. To that end, I've been swimming with my friend Carly (coached by Maggie and a sweet man who coaches Masters at Crystal Pool) and managed to increase my speed to .5 km in 14 minutes. Unfortunately, I think I have to postpone this goal a year due to moving to France. I will concentrate on regaining health though, and my goal for this summer is to attend Circus School!
Another great thing about the fall was attending the VIC-RWA conference. I attended the Vancouver conference in the summer, but my most embarassing moment was in Victoria. I was in a hallway talking with some fellow writers about the challenge of writing sex scenes and how in moving to France I could now say, "And you can spank my hot little French ass ..." when a guy opened a door and said, "Could you please shut up?" I stared at him in disbelief and said, "I know you!" He said, "I know you too!" The lines of frustration didn't leave his face but he smiled briefly and then shut the door. He was representing the operatic society but was also a member of OBPOP - our parent-participation preschool. I've taught his daughter!
The rest of the fall was spent enjoying where we live, plus purging, packing and selling our acculumated life possessions. In contemplating a move away, Colin and I both realized how much we love Victoria and the community we have developed here. We'll also miss our friends. I also have to say a HUGE thanks to Carly, Bob and Owen for taking care of and loving Callum while Colin and I flew off to Grenoble for a few days of reconnaissance. It's the longest we've been apart from Callum. It was heroic for them to offer and brave of Callum to deal with it.
Themes for the year have been STREAMLINE, HEALTH and ENJOY THE MOMENTS. In retrospect, I can't believe how much we've done. I often feel we've been static, but that is oh so much NOT the case.
When Col and I married I promised it wouldn't be easy but it would be interesting. I've kept my word. And just when we think it's time to coast someone increases the voltage and volume, so now we're off to France: land of wine, Alps and really really good cheese.
Hope your year was one full of health, family, friends and fun.
Please consider coming to visit. We'd love to see you and show you our new home.
With much love,
C & R & C
