Delete, skim or savour as your heart desires …
Impressions on my senses
Lavender and bees
Hummingbird Hawk Moth
Azure glacier lakes
BBQs
Farmers’ Markets
Swimming pools and rock music
Squished into speedos
Fairy-fine soda straw stalactites and underground Olms
Bloody toe and screaming
Hospital bills
Toll fees
17th century wood, paint and imagination
Golden sand and silky blue bathtub-temperature sea
Observations - Fashion
SPEEDOS – pools here, whether they are outdoor or in, will not allow men entrance with “beach” shorts. They need to be encased in a Speedo, also known as a “Banana Hammock” or “Budgie Smuggler.” This is because the guys will wear them all day and then wear them into the swimming pool. Ick. At first I thought this was brilliant. France is self-supporting in terms of the production and consumption of food and it continues to see itself as a world power. Consequently, France is encouraging families to expand. What better way to increase the population than to “show off the wares” during the summer. This was a great “theory” until I saw the bathing caps that are often also required. Very few people have the physique, bone structure and presence to make a speedo AND a bathing cap look sexy, the few that do probably compete in the Olympics. They are not lounging in the pool a block from our apartment. Trust me.
Much to my surprise, as soon as the summer solstice occurred people were wearing colours again. The streets came alive. Women were in heels and slinky to retro to alternative Nepalese. They have no trouble wearing sexy clothes here. They don’t feel they need to divide professional, personal and sensual. Why do we? The “in” colour for the men this summer was hot pink – worn with pride by both homos and heteros. White pants are also popular with the men, and they carry man bags (for all the French paperwork) and ride their kids scooters with equal masculinity and style. It’s refreshing.
Observations - Lifestyle
Mushrooms – all pharmacists in France are trained in mushrooms. You can go collect the fungi in the mountain meadows, bring it in and they will tell you if they’re edible.
We still don’t have our health insurance. It’s taking forever*. Luckily, the trips to the Emergency Room and the subsequent medications have cost much less than we were anticipating. A trip to the Doctor costs 28 Euros for us. A house call costs not much more. Medications tend to be a third to a quarter of the cost, and if they are prescribed then they’re partially refundable. We have a schwack of paperwork to hand in once we get our health insurance. It’ll be such a relief.
*Note: In November we still didn’t have our health insurance. Because I started a job in September, our status changed and the paperwork had to begin again.
School – there is a lot of stigma attached to the early years. Whatever happens is recorded, and follows a child throughout their educational career. So much hangs in the balance – self-confidence, identity, career direction. I’m glad Callum will have a chance to reinvent himself when he returns to Canada, should he so choose.
Banking – it’s very difficult to transfer money to Canada or here to France without being charged a huge amount by the banks. I guess if everyone agrees to charge a minimum of 30 euros per transaction then the bank machines are going to be kept busy!
Reduce, reuse, recycle - Everyone here uses reusable shopping bags. We just carry them around. No big deal. And all bags sold at the shops are inexpensive but hardy. It’s just habit. As for To Go coffee cups, they don’t exist. And lights go off by themselves in most public hallways, bathrooms and stairwells. It just makes sense.
Hot – it’s hot here in summer. I don’t mind it, it feels like it’s marinating my bones. But, I can’t stop sweating. Colin and Callum and I often don’t eat dinner. All we want are fluids. A salad and a popsicle please. The other wonderful thing about the weather is that we get FULL ON thunder and lightning storms. LOVE it! Our two balconies and sun room are perfect places to watch and listen to the spectacle that is nature.
Callum’s Casualty
In the midst of a lovely visit with Mike, Mary Jane and Nicole we went to the park. Callum was running through a fountain and smashed his baby toe (on his right foot) into a metal grating. It split the nail cross-wise and also tore into the flesh between his baby toe and the next one. Bled like Billy-oh.
Mary Jane and Mike drove us to the emergency room (Bless them). We were there for hours. Callum had his toe scrubbed clean three times and screamed so loudly that they gave him laughing gas to calm him down. The twin cylinders of nitrous oxide followed us from room to room. Two doctors looked at the toe and they nearly gave Callum stitches but decided the toenail will probably go black and fall off in about a week's time. I will need to clean, put antibiotics on and dress the toe twice a day ... without the laughing gas. The people above us are going to think I beat our child.
The first nail to grow in will likely be gnarly, but the doctors think Callum will have a normal toenail in about three months or so. In the meantime, we're rethinking our plan to go to the lake Tuesday and to Italy in mid-July. We're wondering how we can keep Callum active and away from screen time without putting too much pressure on his foot. Sheesh.
Poor little fella. He was very brave and patient. And then when we came home at around 11:15 pm I laid him on the couch and he forgot about the toe and fell to the floor. Just rolled off the couch and landed on his toe. Talk about lung power. Did you hear him scream from where you are?
In about 10 minutes I'm going to take off the dressing and see if he ripped off the nail. Are you nauseous yet? I am!
Parenting can be painful, it's growing pains all over again.
Moving In
We have unloaded a heap of boxes and this place is finally starting to feel like a home.
Once I realized my barrier to unpacking the boxes I got over it and have done much better. The barrier was: no cupboards or closets. I'd open a box and put stuff ... where? The floor? Storage takes ingenuity, European space-saving techniques (don't buy it in the first place) and the willingness to TOSS stuff.
Callum got his new bed compliments of some birthday money from each set of grandparents. The bed is raised up and has a play area underneath - very cool and he loves it. Mark your calendars, HE SLEPT IN IT LAST NIGHT.
Colin is better. He had gastroenteritis accompanied by a whopping headache. He was dysfunctional for five days after he returned from England. When he was correctly diagnosed and set up with a football team’s worth of meds he experienced a complete turn-around. It's lovely to have him back. Read: the limp yet willful curmudgeon has been replaced by a strapping Yorkshire lad.
On CANADA DAY we dined at the only Canadian restaurant in town. It's called Ontario, looks like a sugar shack, serves Quebecois beer (and Bud Light –bleh!), maple-syrup lamb, bison, ostrich and salmon. Ostrich? The pecan pie was so flat it looked like someone had sat on it, someone larger than Stephen Harper. We ate sparsely but were with fun people and it felt good to celebrate being Canadian.
Mother in the Hood
My son is driving me ape-shit.
He doesn't want to walk anywhere, get dressed or even wash his hands or wipe his bum.
Everything is a struggle and I'm getting completely worn out over stupid stuff.
Today I simply put on a Ben 10 show for him and am going through emails because I have cramps and I need to get out but I can't do it without losing my temper.
And Callum says "YUCK" to every food item I offer him but will try eating ear plugs and hair and roll around on the floor of a train station. "YUCK".
Colin is having a hard time at work. His hours are self-inflicted and insane. He leaves for work around 8:30 am and returns home 11 or 12 hours later. His metrics are determined by group performance but he is determined to serve each customer with the best he has to offer. This often means communicating with Victoria, B.C. or Laverne (Tennessee) before he shuts his computer off and stops answering his phone for the night. The stress makes him exhausted and edgy.
On top of that my birthday is on Friday and I feel like I've dropped off the planet in terms of health, fitness, creativity and finances. I am way behind on all of that compared to last year.
I know it will pass. Tomorrow I'll probably feel much better.*
*Note: The next day my friend Anna informed me that I was turning 46, not 47. I DID feel much better!
HOLIDAYS!
Colin took three days off on a week where there were two national holidays, so we had 9 days to squander on the wonder that is Europe. With not much cash in hand we rented a car and mostly did day trips:
- visited Pont-en-Royans where the houses overhang the river and are built into the rock
- explored the Grottes de Choranche which contain soda straw stalactites and were introduced to weird creatures called Olms (little lizard type creatures that are blind and colourless and have lived in caves since prehistoric times).
- floated on and swam in periwinkle-blue lac Monteynard (Sam and Mark were with us for the boat trip and then they made us dinner. We had so much fun we stayed overnight!).
- discovered Lac de Laffrey (drove along a load of D roads, tiny worm-like squiggles on the map) flowered mountain meadows and stunning viewpoints.
- played at a waterpark up in Les 7 Laux (a ski resort in winter, it's a rockin' adventure place in the summer for climbing, hiking, biking and exploring).
- ventured to le fort du Saint Eynard (magnificent views of the whole Grenoble valley).
- watched fireworks (celebration de la Fete nationale a Grenoble) in Parc Paul Mistral (thanks Sam. A kebab, a good friend and the buzz of a gazillion people celebrating freedom and the revolution - ACE). I goofed here. We were invited to Jinnie and Seb's for the Monday night fireworks and I thought it was on Tuesday. Missed hanging out with them and Lindy and Ray. It turns out France celebrates for TWO nights. These are people whose company I delight in. Must be the dementia!
- wandered the grounds of Chateaux Vizille, birthplace of the revolution (nice to meander with the earth beneath our bare feet. Much needed).
- took a three day trip to Florence (Italy), the coast of La Spezia and the site of the last winter Olympics. Costly trip but full of epiphanies. For example, learning Italian would be so much easier than French - you say it the way it is spelled, you pronounce every letter, you write it the way you say it, and grammar is laid out the same way it is in English. In addition, most signs are in Italian and English so vocabulary accumulation is rapid. Saw magnificent Renaissance paintings and architecture, realized how much we missed the ocean and B.C. mountains, and the cumulation of our trip was driving through the rain and snow over tiny mountain passes in the dark while listening to Quirks and Quarks (CBC radio program). We’re so nostalgic for "home".
Callum
Callum is doing well. He misses his friends but has had the great fortune to meet a 5 year old boy from Vancouver who is here in Grenoble for a couple of weeks. We're off today to Parc Paul Mistral to play: a free ropes course, rock climbing wall and water area (among other things – all promoting health and physicality). We went to Annecy with them the other day and Callum got a good dose of superhero and lake activities. He's really looking forward to Owen's visit. He needs kid time, to be able to communicate verbally about his interests and ideas with someone his age who can respond with the same focus and passion.
Colin
Colin is missing Canada. We are clear that we will take advantage of being here, but we were not clear that our adventure would drop us down an economic level (our rent alone, not including utilities or household goods you have to buy as a renter [i.e. stove, fridge, lighting fixtures] or the housing taxes you pay as a renter to the city for the land or maintenance fees paid to the building collective, is equivalent to $1,297 Canadian for a two bedroom flat) or that Colin would work such crazy hours (often gets home between 7 and 8 pm). He will have a new boss in a few weeks. We're sad to see Andrew go back to Canada but are happy for him. Melanie, Colin's new boss, used to be his supervisor back in Victoria. Colin has tremendous respect for her and is looking forward to working with her again. They will all be relocating to a new building in September - which looks like it’ll be an hour+ commute rather than a half hour, but other than that there may be unforseen advantages*. We'll see.
*Note: When they moved to the new building Colin started biking along the river to work. It helps recalibrate him and he’s getting fab calves!
Birthday
I had a fantastic birthday. Some friends of ours (Martine and Adam) proposed going overnight to a mountain refuge for my birthday, but it was full and we have to postpone it. Instead, they treated me to Polish alcohol that had real gold in it and a visit to the Chartreuse cellars - the largest cellars in the world - and the St. Bruno Cathedral. Melanie and David made a birthday breakfast for me that included banana and chocolate chip french toast with caramel sauce and fried bananas on top - can you feel your arteries hardening as we speak? It was awesome. Sam and Mark came over to help me celebrate as well, on their new Street Hawk cycle. And I spent the day in Annecy with some new friends from Vancouver - so all in all it was a fabulous 24 hours. Colin was very sweet and bought me something I'd been eyeing for 3 months - a set of lights (not expensive but they add so much warmth to our living room). Thanks for the thoughtful cards, emails and gifts.
Sorry for running on at the mouth. It's been windy and hot which was giving Callum nightmares which led of course to sleepless nights and a subsequent lack of focus and energy. Things are settling out though, and our visitors over the next couple of weeks will be a welcome celebration.
Hope all is well with you and that you're having a summer full of fun, friends, good food and better weather.
With joy,
Ramona
Sunday, November 22, 2009
JUBILATIONS, REVELATIONS and VACATIONS – JUNE 2009
Spirituality
Callum on June 18, 2009:
“God is hiding in the clouds. Jesus was here and used magic so there would be no more madness. When he was killed by the evil guys God sent a bomb and it went BOOM and the bad guys died in the sky. Now God is everywhere and no where.”
PAUSE
“And I love mommy and I love Daddy and I love myself and my mommy loves me.”
I am continually amazed at my child’s acuity regarding spiritual matters. He is intrigued by the churches and monasteries; he can spend copious amounts of time considering the meaning of a religious painting or sculpture. Callum asks questions that would cause a pope to pause and on bended knee give thanks.
Epiphanies
I am resigned to not being able to thwart all the bad habits my son is determined to acquire. Nail biting, fascination with his penis, mimicking Star Wars characters, all of these I must submit to as being part of childhood. I wonder if snot-eating is universal?
My mother informs me that 4 year olds ask, on average, 437 questions a day.
The culture of some women here is beyond what I can imagine for myself, and yet I wonder if it is sheer jealousy. Part of it is that things cost more here than in Canada. When my Québécoise friend Isabelle came to visit she talked to a local who’s lived here all his life. He said the adoption of the Euro in 2002 caused prices to rise 30%. Other sources have confirmed this spike in living costs. Consequently, people who live here can pay more for things and not cringe like I do. They’ve had time to adjust. For example, 38 Euros for spectacular tea; 27 Pounds for a particularly effective and vibrating mascara. Maybe it’s that I’m not particularly girly or because I struggle specifically and consistently with balancing finances in my life, but I will not be purchasing these items. I have, however, bought in the U.K. (with the loving encouragement of my husband) a fantastic pair of black shoes made by KG (Kurt Geiger). They were 50% off of course, but they are the first sexy pair of heels I have purchased since I met Colin 10.5 years ago and they are fine. Fabulous fit, classic and sensual. They are the first step towards overcoming the dowdiness of motherhood where nothing is sacred and everything is stained. They are the symbol of me taking back womanhood and saying the 40’s are sexy and I’m coming home (to Victoria) with all the style of a French bird but at German prices and in U.K. sizes.
Callum has proclaimed to me that he has become much stronger from climbing the stairs up to our flat two or more times a day.
I asked him, “In what way are you stronger?”
He replied, “My hands are stronger from holding onto the railing.”
Parking, Rules and Rebellion
Mike and Mary Jane (also from Victoria) were over and a conversation about French parking ensued.
Colin talked about how much he hates the French parking – at night time in particular they park on sidewalks, on corners, back to front, up on curbs, wherever and however they can manage to squeak their tiny tin cans in they’ll park them, regardless of how much obstruction it causes for people who are walking by.
Mike countered with how much he loves how the French park. Wherever he can find a space he can park his car, even if it’s with only inches to spare.
I pointed out that it’s the difference in perspective between being a driver and a pieton (pedestrian). Personally, I find the French ingenious. There are all these parking rules but none of them apply at night or at the lake or during festivals or other times of high camaraderie like the first two weeks of August when most people are on vacation and parking is free in our neighbourhood. There are also customs here regarding parking that would make my dad’s hair fall out, or be pulled out. It is not at all unusual for people to bump their car into a parking spot if there isn’t quite enough room. Colin jokes that the “Used Car Lots” here are more accurately termed “Predented Car Lots”. Unspoken rules abound in every culture, and unspoken breakage of rules is allowed too. But in France there are more rules than in most countries so there is more breakage and rebellion, and they not only acknowledge it, they celebrate it.
When Sam (a friend of mine from England) and I attended the national celebrations (Fete Nationale) in Parc Paul Mistral, there were many tweenies and teenagers setting off bottle rockets in the area that was initially built for the 1968 Olympic Speed Skating events. Instead of scoffing, getting annoyed or trying to dissuade these kids, people cheered. “Hip hip hooray!” “You’re rebelling - Vive le France!” That is what the national day is all about.
Doggies Do
For the most part I have avoided stepping in doo-doo of the political, theoretical or literal kind, but there is a lot of dog poo that needs to be avoided here. The shop keepers are magic at cleaning the area directly in front of them and there are many spaces dedicated to dogs on the edge of every official square and park, but there are persistent owners who consistently let their large dogs defecate in public places. My family has, by and large, learned to avoid stepping in these hazard zones; has developed a sixth sense about mounds of brown. We are learning. Maybe we can’t talk in full sentences in the language of our adopted country, but we are able to avoid some of the pitfalls of urban living despite residing in the heart of the city.
Grenoble, Geneva and Freiburg with Friends
We had my friend Stella and her two kids (Lucas - 5; Seelja - 2) visit with us in Grenoble for a few days. They are friends of ours from Victoria. It was wonderful reconnecting with them and Callum loved having Canadian (English-speaking) friends here. They played non-stop. Stella and I talked non-stop. We had long involved anthropological and mothering-type conversations on the balcony every night while listening to crickets and consuming minty lime drinks. Colin was tolerant of the noise level.
Callum was a terrific host, street safety guard and tour guide. On Saturday, June 13th we went to Allevard (a French village) for the sheep festival. 3,000 sheep were herded down the city streets. Sunday we hung out at Du Bois Francais, a swimming lake with a playground and huge green space. It was 31 degrees. Colin reveled in relaxing at the lake, reading his book and getting into great discussions with our friends Mike and Mary Jane (and their daughter Nicole - 6)*. They moved here in October from Victoria. It's a relief and a comfort to talk to people who understand our struggles, adventures and elations so clearly. They also understand my fascination with sheep!
*Mike, Mary Jane and Nicole have since moved back to Victoria. We’re happy for them and we miss them.
On the Monday we took Stella, Lucas and Seelja up La Bastille, through the Mandrin Caves (which was intense without flashlights – they are the caves that the mountain troops hid out in as a back-up in case La Bastille was taken by opposing forces) and down under the streets to the Roman ruins. The next day Callum and I headed to Freiburg, Germany with them. Freiburg is where Stella grew up. Her parents still live there.
Freiburg
We had a great time in Freiburg. Stella’s parents are interesting, intelligent and gracious hosts. Their home and its location (it backs onto the Black Forest) were both intriguing and restful. Stella is game, so we climbed with the kids to the top of the Munster tower, explored Freiburg by foot and discovered amazing playgrounds, wooden toys and cobblestone streets.
I couldn’t believe how at home I felt in Germany. The sizes fit, the colours of the buildings resonated (bright and bold), the prices were reasonable and the quality of everything from shoes to toys to washcloths was prime. I remembered a lot of German language from my teenage years at Westgate Mennonite Collegiate, but also the straightforwardness of the people was a relief after the stylistic and arms length attitude of the French. Stella’s parents were particularly welcoming. Much to the delight of Callum and Lucas, Stella’s dad chain-sawed down a cherry tree in their presence, and Stella’s mom was so knowledgeable about herbs and their effects that she could’ve starred as the fairy queen in Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night.
All in all it was a wonderful visit full of laughter, play, conversation and understanding.
And it was interesting to compare and contrast the French vs. the German attitude. One striking difference was in how they present their homes. According to Stella’s sister, the Germans tend to make the outside look great. It’s important to them to take care of the external presentation. It’s showing respect for the neighbours. For the French, it’s important to present a humble exterior and to invest in the interior. This explains why at times the French buildings look so derelict. Now that I know it relates to humility I can deal with the bleak buildings of our semi-Alpine town.
We returned home to Grenoble by train on Thursday, June 18. It was a quick trip but Callum had a choir performance and his graduation ceremony on the Friday and we couldn’t miss it. A choir performance by 150 3 - 6 year olds - would YOU miss it?
Also, all our earthly belongings were scheduled to and actually did arrive at 8:00 am on Saturday, June 20th. George and Tony delivered it up two flights of stairs. Tony was built like Hercules. He’s in his late 50’s and didn’t even break a sweat or do any heavy breathing until they had to tackle the King-sized mattress.
After six months I learned to live without our “stuff”. What’s in those boxes anyways? Camping equipment, creative supplies, books, journals, snowboarding and ski gear, it’s actually very useful and entirely seasonal or “on a whim” type stuff. I think people of my generation with numerous interests were meant to have garages.*
Note*: We do have CAVES here, but they are very damp and periodically flooded by the melting of the alpine snow and the subsequent convergence of the Dragon and Snake Rivers. People in Grenoble mainly use their CAVES for the storing of wine. Not a pretentious action, just a practical solution to inadequate storage.
Colin was accidentally (read: conveniently ;^)) gone when the boxes arrived from Canada/the Suez Canal/Liverpool. He left for England for 10 days on the Friday. What was unfortunate was that June 20th was also Callum’s birthday. We celebrated in Germany with Lucas and Seelja, celebrated on the day by indulging in his favourite foods – ribs and gelato, and we’ll celebrate again (avec Dad) when Owen comes to visit in July. Callum was aching for a big birthday party but it just wasn’t realistic this year … especially since his desired guest list included his Canadian friends and cousins, his U.K. relatives and their dogs, and all 25 French kids from his Moyen class and the neighbour’s cat (Mimi).
On Sunday, June 21st my French-Canadian friend Isabelle arrived. I was very much looking forward to her visit but not looking forward to speaking French in front of her. I needn’t have worried. She was instructive, patient and even complimented my pronunciation! What surprised me was that people could tell she was Quebecois after two spoken words. Wow.
Time with Isabelle was intense. She is single with an intense community medical career and was dove-tailing her visit in Grenoble with a seminar in Geneva and a bicycle trip through Italy. We’ve known each other for about 20 years and my time with her was precious.
I had a parent - teacher interview with Isabelle as interpreter, and Callum received his first report card. The teacher noted that Callum is particularly brave (speaks out, participates and is a leader), compassionate (helps other kids and rescues bugs), vocal (tells long stories) and well-liked (everyone knows him and he does well on the playground). What he needs to work on is penmanship, following the rules, and French (obviously). He has passed his class (Moyen or Medium) and is moving on to the Grande Section for next year. His teacher and school support people believe he will be bilingual by Christmas 2009.
With Isabelle Callum and I went up to the St. Pierre de Chartreuse Museum of the Carthusian Order of Monks and Nuns (near the Monastery and started by St. Bruno). We were given the wrong information about the bus times and ended up having to hitchhike back down out of the Alps. It was a bit intense, especially since Isabelle needed to catch an early train to Geneva.
Isabelle was exceedingly generous during her time here. She brought dinner in one night and paid babysitting and for dinner another night so that she and I could go out and have adult time. It was such a treat. What a great way to experience Grenoble anew. Colin was sad to miss her visit. She is someone we know will be in our lives all our lives.
Colin had a good time in England. He ate lots of curries, was successful with his installation, enjoyed the folks he worked with and on the weekend reveled in the company of his best English mate Mark while consuming pints and pies. He arrived back home around 11 pm Sunday night. The unfortunate part was that he was ill during his visit with Mark. The great part was that Col was highly commended for his on-site commissioning in Chippenham (sounds like a sandwich!) and he hopes to go on-site again soon.
Tuesday I have my French exam. Wish me luck!
Callum is finished school on July 2nd.
Goals for July
- We'll tackle our load of boxes and really move in.
- We'll likely spend lots of time at the pool and the lake.
- On the week of the 15th Colin is taking holidays. Don't know where we're going yet but it needs to be cheap!
- In a few weeks Callum's best friend Owen comes to visit (with our friends/Owen's parents Carly and Bob).
I especially want to thank all of you for Callum's birthday gifts. He felt well loved and was very happy with his variety of gifts (clothes, books, games, toys, trampoline, the Wii). Everything fit perfectly and has already been well used.
Hope you are well.
We love you loads.
Talk to you soon!
xox,
Ramona
Callum on June 18, 2009:
“God is hiding in the clouds. Jesus was here and used magic so there would be no more madness. When he was killed by the evil guys God sent a bomb and it went BOOM and the bad guys died in the sky. Now God is everywhere and no where.”
PAUSE
“And I love mommy and I love Daddy and I love myself and my mommy loves me.”
I am continually amazed at my child’s acuity regarding spiritual matters. He is intrigued by the churches and monasteries; he can spend copious amounts of time considering the meaning of a religious painting or sculpture. Callum asks questions that would cause a pope to pause and on bended knee give thanks.
Epiphanies
I am resigned to not being able to thwart all the bad habits my son is determined to acquire. Nail biting, fascination with his penis, mimicking Star Wars characters, all of these I must submit to as being part of childhood. I wonder if snot-eating is universal?
My mother informs me that 4 year olds ask, on average, 437 questions a day.
The culture of some women here is beyond what I can imagine for myself, and yet I wonder if it is sheer jealousy. Part of it is that things cost more here than in Canada. When my Québécoise friend Isabelle came to visit she talked to a local who’s lived here all his life. He said the adoption of the Euro in 2002 caused prices to rise 30%. Other sources have confirmed this spike in living costs. Consequently, people who live here can pay more for things and not cringe like I do. They’ve had time to adjust. For example, 38 Euros for spectacular tea; 27 Pounds for a particularly effective and vibrating mascara. Maybe it’s that I’m not particularly girly or because I struggle specifically and consistently with balancing finances in my life, but I will not be purchasing these items. I have, however, bought in the U.K. (with the loving encouragement of my husband) a fantastic pair of black shoes made by KG (Kurt Geiger). They were 50% off of course, but they are the first sexy pair of heels I have purchased since I met Colin 10.5 years ago and they are fine. Fabulous fit, classic and sensual. They are the first step towards overcoming the dowdiness of motherhood where nothing is sacred and everything is stained. They are the symbol of me taking back womanhood and saying the 40’s are sexy and I’m coming home (to Victoria) with all the style of a French bird but at German prices and in U.K. sizes.
Callum has proclaimed to me that he has become much stronger from climbing the stairs up to our flat two or more times a day.
I asked him, “In what way are you stronger?”
He replied, “My hands are stronger from holding onto the railing.”
Parking, Rules and Rebellion
Mike and Mary Jane (also from Victoria) were over and a conversation about French parking ensued.
Colin talked about how much he hates the French parking – at night time in particular they park on sidewalks, on corners, back to front, up on curbs, wherever and however they can manage to squeak their tiny tin cans in they’ll park them, regardless of how much obstruction it causes for people who are walking by.
Mike countered with how much he loves how the French park. Wherever he can find a space he can park his car, even if it’s with only inches to spare.
I pointed out that it’s the difference in perspective between being a driver and a pieton (pedestrian). Personally, I find the French ingenious. There are all these parking rules but none of them apply at night or at the lake or during festivals or other times of high camaraderie like the first two weeks of August when most people are on vacation and parking is free in our neighbourhood. There are also customs here regarding parking that would make my dad’s hair fall out, or be pulled out. It is not at all unusual for people to bump their car into a parking spot if there isn’t quite enough room. Colin jokes that the “Used Car Lots” here are more accurately termed “Predented Car Lots”. Unspoken rules abound in every culture, and unspoken breakage of rules is allowed too. But in France there are more rules than in most countries so there is more breakage and rebellion, and they not only acknowledge it, they celebrate it.
When Sam (a friend of mine from England) and I attended the national celebrations (Fete Nationale) in Parc Paul Mistral, there were many tweenies and teenagers setting off bottle rockets in the area that was initially built for the 1968 Olympic Speed Skating events. Instead of scoffing, getting annoyed or trying to dissuade these kids, people cheered. “Hip hip hooray!” “You’re rebelling - Vive le France!” That is what the national day is all about.
Doggies Do
For the most part I have avoided stepping in doo-doo of the political, theoretical or literal kind, but there is a lot of dog poo that needs to be avoided here. The shop keepers are magic at cleaning the area directly in front of them and there are many spaces dedicated to dogs on the edge of every official square and park, but there are persistent owners who consistently let their large dogs defecate in public places. My family has, by and large, learned to avoid stepping in these hazard zones; has developed a sixth sense about mounds of brown. We are learning. Maybe we can’t talk in full sentences in the language of our adopted country, but we are able to avoid some of the pitfalls of urban living despite residing in the heart of the city.
Grenoble, Geneva and Freiburg with Friends
We had my friend Stella and her two kids (Lucas - 5; Seelja - 2) visit with us in Grenoble for a few days. They are friends of ours from Victoria. It was wonderful reconnecting with them and Callum loved having Canadian (English-speaking) friends here. They played non-stop. Stella and I talked non-stop. We had long involved anthropological and mothering-type conversations on the balcony every night while listening to crickets and consuming minty lime drinks. Colin was tolerant of the noise level.
Callum was a terrific host, street safety guard and tour guide. On Saturday, June 13th we went to Allevard (a French village) for the sheep festival. 3,000 sheep were herded down the city streets. Sunday we hung out at Du Bois Francais, a swimming lake with a playground and huge green space. It was 31 degrees. Colin reveled in relaxing at the lake, reading his book and getting into great discussions with our friends Mike and Mary Jane (and their daughter Nicole - 6)*. They moved here in October from Victoria. It's a relief and a comfort to talk to people who understand our struggles, adventures and elations so clearly. They also understand my fascination with sheep!
*Mike, Mary Jane and Nicole have since moved back to Victoria. We’re happy for them and we miss them.
On the Monday we took Stella, Lucas and Seelja up La Bastille, through the Mandrin Caves (which was intense without flashlights – they are the caves that the mountain troops hid out in as a back-up in case La Bastille was taken by opposing forces) and down under the streets to the Roman ruins. The next day Callum and I headed to Freiburg, Germany with them. Freiburg is where Stella grew up. Her parents still live there.
Freiburg
We had a great time in Freiburg. Stella’s parents are interesting, intelligent and gracious hosts. Their home and its location (it backs onto the Black Forest) were both intriguing and restful. Stella is game, so we climbed with the kids to the top of the Munster tower, explored Freiburg by foot and discovered amazing playgrounds, wooden toys and cobblestone streets.
I couldn’t believe how at home I felt in Germany. The sizes fit, the colours of the buildings resonated (bright and bold), the prices were reasonable and the quality of everything from shoes to toys to washcloths was prime. I remembered a lot of German language from my teenage years at Westgate Mennonite Collegiate, but also the straightforwardness of the people was a relief after the stylistic and arms length attitude of the French. Stella’s parents were particularly welcoming. Much to the delight of Callum and Lucas, Stella’s dad chain-sawed down a cherry tree in their presence, and Stella’s mom was so knowledgeable about herbs and their effects that she could’ve starred as the fairy queen in Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night.
All in all it was a wonderful visit full of laughter, play, conversation and understanding.
And it was interesting to compare and contrast the French vs. the German attitude. One striking difference was in how they present their homes. According to Stella’s sister, the Germans tend to make the outside look great. It’s important to them to take care of the external presentation. It’s showing respect for the neighbours. For the French, it’s important to present a humble exterior and to invest in the interior. This explains why at times the French buildings look so derelict. Now that I know it relates to humility I can deal with the bleak buildings of our semi-Alpine town.
We returned home to Grenoble by train on Thursday, June 18. It was a quick trip but Callum had a choir performance and his graduation ceremony on the Friday and we couldn’t miss it. A choir performance by 150 3 - 6 year olds - would YOU miss it?
Also, all our earthly belongings were scheduled to and actually did arrive at 8:00 am on Saturday, June 20th. George and Tony delivered it up two flights of stairs. Tony was built like Hercules. He’s in his late 50’s and didn’t even break a sweat or do any heavy breathing until they had to tackle the King-sized mattress.
After six months I learned to live without our “stuff”. What’s in those boxes anyways? Camping equipment, creative supplies, books, journals, snowboarding and ski gear, it’s actually very useful and entirely seasonal or “on a whim” type stuff. I think people of my generation with numerous interests were meant to have garages.*
Note*: We do have CAVES here, but they are very damp and periodically flooded by the melting of the alpine snow and the subsequent convergence of the Dragon and Snake Rivers. People in Grenoble mainly use their CAVES for the storing of wine. Not a pretentious action, just a practical solution to inadequate storage.
Colin was accidentally (read: conveniently ;^)) gone when the boxes arrived from Canada/the Suez Canal/Liverpool. He left for England for 10 days on the Friday. What was unfortunate was that June 20th was also Callum’s birthday. We celebrated in Germany with Lucas and Seelja, celebrated on the day by indulging in his favourite foods – ribs and gelato, and we’ll celebrate again (avec Dad) when Owen comes to visit in July. Callum was aching for a big birthday party but it just wasn’t realistic this year … especially since his desired guest list included his Canadian friends and cousins, his U.K. relatives and their dogs, and all 25 French kids from his Moyen class and the neighbour’s cat (Mimi).
On Sunday, June 21st my French-Canadian friend Isabelle arrived. I was very much looking forward to her visit but not looking forward to speaking French in front of her. I needn’t have worried. She was instructive, patient and even complimented my pronunciation! What surprised me was that people could tell she was Quebecois after two spoken words. Wow.
Time with Isabelle was intense. She is single with an intense community medical career and was dove-tailing her visit in Grenoble with a seminar in Geneva and a bicycle trip through Italy. We’ve known each other for about 20 years and my time with her was precious.
I had a parent - teacher interview with Isabelle as interpreter, and Callum received his first report card. The teacher noted that Callum is particularly brave (speaks out, participates and is a leader), compassionate (helps other kids and rescues bugs), vocal (tells long stories) and well-liked (everyone knows him and he does well on the playground). What he needs to work on is penmanship, following the rules, and French (obviously). He has passed his class (Moyen or Medium) and is moving on to the Grande Section for next year. His teacher and school support people believe he will be bilingual by Christmas 2009.
With Isabelle Callum and I went up to the St. Pierre de Chartreuse Museum of the Carthusian Order of Monks and Nuns (near the Monastery and started by St. Bruno). We were given the wrong information about the bus times and ended up having to hitchhike back down out of the Alps. It was a bit intense, especially since Isabelle needed to catch an early train to Geneva.
Isabelle was exceedingly generous during her time here. She brought dinner in one night and paid babysitting and for dinner another night so that she and I could go out and have adult time. It was such a treat. What a great way to experience Grenoble anew. Colin was sad to miss her visit. She is someone we know will be in our lives all our lives.
Colin had a good time in England. He ate lots of curries, was successful with his installation, enjoyed the folks he worked with and on the weekend reveled in the company of his best English mate Mark while consuming pints and pies. He arrived back home around 11 pm Sunday night. The unfortunate part was that he was ill during his visit with Mark. The great part was that Col was highly commended for his on-site commissioning in Chippenham (sounds like a sandwich!) and he hopes to go on-site again soon.
Tuesday I have my French exam. Wish me luck!
Callum is finished school on July 2nd.
Goals for July
- We'll tackle our load of boxes and really move in.
- We'll likely spend lots of time at the pool and the lake.
- On the week of the 15th Colin is taking holidays. Don't know where we're going yet but it needs to be cheap!
- In a few weeks Callum's best friend Owen comes to visit (with our friends/Owen's parents Carly and Bob).
I especially want to thank all of you for Callum's birthday gifts. He felt well loved and was very happy with his variety of gifts (clothes, books, games, toys, trampoline, the Wii). Everything fit perfectly and has already been well used.
Hope you are well.
We love you loads.
Talk to you soon!
xox,
Ramona
Monday, June 8, 2009
Right On Cue (April/May 2009)
At the three month mark of our move to France my determination plummeted and my spirit of adventure took a vacation. I was right on cue.
According to a friend of mine who teaches English and has studied the psychological patterns of people who move to a new country, there's a dramatic dip in attitude at the 3 - 4 month mark. Much to my chagrin I exactly fit the profile. There I was at the three month mark: wondering why it takes 45 minutes to arrange a new delivery date for a clothes dryer (not including the amount of time it took me to look up the vocabulary involved or review how to sound out numbers, say my alphabet and spell my name); wondering how I can console my husband as he longs for his former team's camaraderie and struggles with the culture shock of a French workplace; wondering why I've severed my son from his Canadian playmates and instead am dropping him off in a pure French school where he doesn't understand the rules and has anxiety because he can't explain himself when he gets into trouble; wondering what possessed me to move to a country whose people thrive on bread and cheese when my son is allergic to both of these things; wondering when I'll be able to hold a conversation in French rather than repeat a script in a bad accent; and questioning a move that nailed us to the wall financially and took us far from family, friends, playdates and a magnificent coastline...
Lots of doubt, focus on what we'd given up and a poisonous dose of "poor me" kept me in a black mood for about three days. I drank wine, walked in the rain and watched multiple episodes of "House" and "The Tudors". In keen synchronization, Grenoble sported thunder storms. Then I got over my maladie and started reapplying myself to viewing this move as an adventure ... and we went on holiday. That ALWAYS helps.
It's been an incredibly busy two months.
APRIL in a nutshell:
- England for 16 days to celebrate Grandma Gilly's Birthday
My in-laws were gracious and fun. Callum and I had some intriguing adventures (see photos) on our own by train and with Uncle Mark, and then Colin joined us for the celebration of his mom's birthday. What a riot. We had a spectacular day at Castle Howard, there was a surprise party for Grandma Gilly in the evening, a meal the following day and lots of visiting with the Walker/Wray/Bowie side of the family tree. We also managed to spend some quality time with Great Grandma Bucknell and the Bucknell side. Overall it was an excellent visit.
- Colin picked out a stove, fridge, washer, dryer, music player and T.V. and did a smashing job.
I've never loved my appliances before. These are brand new, brushed steel (one) and energy efficient. They're sensible and sexy. How is that possible?
- We moved into our new apartment
We love the location. Lots of parks, great activities to walk to (climbing, outdoor markets, swimming pools, etc.), close to friends and/or public transport. We can see two sets of mountains from our two balconies and there's a new shopping area and park being built across the street. I walk Callum to school, Colin only needs to take one bus to work and I walk to my French classes. The apartment itself is sunny, quiet, spacious and has great water pressure, wooden and tiled floors and a large tub. In addition there is a bike locker and "a cave." The cave is damp and creepy. If we were truly French we'd use it as a cellar and keep our wine there. As it is, whatever needs to be stored but can deter mould will probably wiggle its way down there. To top it all off, our landlord is awesome. Jolly and retired, he responds to most requests within two days. Thanks also to Sylvie, our relocation specialist who has turned many a bureaucratic nightmare into a smooth move.
- We borrowed items from friends (mostly Steph and Andrew - THANKS!) and did a massive IKEA shop after we realized we had no way of eating, sleeping and washing in an empty shell of a home.
- Callum started school
Agony. I don't recall much in my life that has ripped me apart like this. Prying my bawling orangatang-limbed child off my body and handing him over to a teacher he can't even talk to, knowing he doesn't understand the rules or what's being said about him, and having him at the mercy of the good graces (ha!) of kids during recess was a hideously nauseating experience. He was so desperate not to go to school that he felt sick and even faked a broken leg. For two weeks I felt like a blind person, unable to see beyond the grief, anxiety and loneliness of Callum. His teacher, Helene Lazzarotto, was awesome - she would take him from my arms and he would wrap himself around her, a safe harbour. Another parent told me Helene would hold Callum for 2 - 5 minutes, until he'd gathered himself together and was ready to mix with the other kids. Helene wasn't worried about him, she could see that he's motivated by his desire to be social.
Now, six weeks after he started attending school, he's happier. He delights in time with kids and they like him. Their eyes light up when they see him. They greet him with: "Bonjour Callum" or "Cou cou." That last saying legitimately means hello, although I scolded Callum for it until I caught on. Loads of kids call his name on the playground after school and parents and kids greet both of us. We're starting to run into people we know when we're downtown and even when we were in Paris! Callum, on his part, has had to learn not to talk during quiet time, not to dance during story time, and to walk holding hands when going on field trips. Apparently he talks a lot, tells epic stories (He says he's teaching the kids English). He still has anxiety around pooing at school (given the lack of privacy in the wee washrooms I'm not surprised), not comprehending expectations and getting in trouble. What bothers me most is that he currently sees himself as stupid because he can't understand what is going on, but as he learns French things will get better. After all, it's only been six weeks.
The teachers think he'll be bilingual by Christmas.
- Paris for 2.5 days
Awesome and intense. We did a whirlwind visit that included a national holiday on the Friday and the witnessing of a massive 1.5 million people demonstration, a visit to the Notre Dame Cathedral, the Sacre Coeur and the Louvre, a wander around the Left Bank which is the district for philosophers, artists and musicians, and a hike up the infamous Eiffel Tower. See photos.
- Eurodisney for 2.5 days
Also awesome and intense! What a hoot. The most relaxing holiday we've had in a long time. Just pure fun. The Disneyland Resort covers 500 acres, dedicated to inspiring wonder and promoting family fun. The studios specialized in creating magic with stunts, special effects and spectacular sets. The Parc presented five lands for exploration. At first I was reluctant to tell people we were going, but for a family needing relief from stress and where all members are thrill seekers who thrive on stimulation of the imagination, it was a cool trip. Callum was hilarious. When we entered the Parc he said, "Look out Disney, here I come!" and "Oh yeah!" When he dropped his scoop of gelato he took my hand and led me over and said, "Let me show you the scene of the accident..." When facing thrill rides like roller coasters, he would proclaim, "Bring it on!" Such a passionate, clever and adventurous little guy.
One weird thing that I noticed at Disney is the fascination Europe has with cowboys and Indians. Davy Crocket, the Wild West and Wild Bill Hickock are all popular here, as well as shotguns, runaway mining trains, bows and arrows. In Children's Literature and in French toy stores plenty is available regarding the history of North America that would be considered politically and anthropologically incorrect in Canada. Some Europeans find our fascination with Knights and the medieval times equally as odd.
- I learned how to pay bills in French
You would not believe how long it took me to figuere that stuff out. Thanks again Sylvie! (She rescues/educates us when we get too befuddled by French paperwork, methodology or the contrast between rules and subsequent actions taken).
- I learned how to fix our boiler
- We dealt with a leaky toilet
- We successfully returned our DVD player
But did not successfully pick up another one. It took 6 weeks for them to say come and get a different one (ours broke on the second use). They called us in, but didn't tell us they have none in stock. Would we take a floor model? No.
- Callum started speaking French
MAY 7 = Callum voluntarily said "Merci" and "Au revoir". He can now say, "Je m'appelle Callum." He comes out with words here and there, but in general says that he can understand stuff but not speak it. I get it. I can see it in him and in myself. My vocabulary has increased tremendously but the more I comprehend the vast sea of French grammar the less I can bring myself to bastardize this beautiful language.
- French lessons for Colin and myself
- Figuered out where to buy cheaper, fresher vegetables
- I had an appointment at the Grenobel Graduate School of Business, seriously checked out the MBA program (with tuition starting at 24,000 Euros I don't think so!).
My friend Isabelle pointed out how useful this would be at this juncture of my career. The international program sounds perfect for me and would give me a leg up in the workplace, but it's way too costly even though they take my experience into consideration. I may consider a diploma though. Grenoble Graduate School of Business has several locations: Grenoble, London, Moscow, Tbilisi, Chisinau, Malta. There are 12 countries represented in their program at present. It would be so cool to do a Masters of International Business. It speaks to the anthropologist in me. Check out http://www.grenoble-em.com/.
- Colin started snowboarding on the Wii.
Gathered infinitesemal points, dude.
- We all started doing Wii fit.
We made icons of our loved ones on the Wii so that you do soccer, step classes, hula hooping, yoga and boxing right alongside us. Many thanks to Ang and George for this most generous gift.
- I found a family doctor who speaks some English (his wife is from Quebec).
- Still don't have our stuff - and don't know where it is!
MAY in a nutshell:
- time with new-found friends
- figuered out a budget XXX Boo Hiss.
In April I was more stymied. I didn't have a residence permit, a work permit, the ability to speak French and also jobs are being cut right now, not created. In May I got my residency permit and the permission to work ... for the next 10 years. I'm legit and they're not going to kick me out of the country! Now I really need to concentrate on learning French so that I can seek employment once Callum is back in school in September. The upbeat part of this is that even though we live in the 2nd most expensive location in France (England is cheaper!), the exchange rate to the Canadian dollar is great.
- figuered out French holidays - complicated but wonderful.
I'm not even going to try to explain this triple-tiered behemoth called Jabberwocky.
- learned how the French residents get deals on travel
I bought a resident pass for the trains which gives me 25% off all the time, and 50% off for me and three other people on all weekends and holidays for my region and the five closest to the Rhone-Alps. Handy. Learning the websites to keep an eye on, how to get deals on car rentals, and how Schneider reimburses portions of plane travel. We're still getting too excited though about where we can go, and need to keep a closer eye on our bank account.
For those of you travelling here, sometimes the deals are better if bought outside of the country. Also, getting to and from Grenoble is not cheap. The cheap deals are through Paris and London.
- Day trip to Lyon
Awesome. See photos. Met a man there who runs a vineyard where people can stay overnight. We may do so ... his website is http://www.grille-midi.com/. Lyon is faster paced, larger and louder than Grenoble. We've realized through our travels through France so far that we like the people in Grenoble the best. They're friendly, straightforward and unpretentious.
- Day trip to St. Pierre en Chartreusse
One of our favourite places. A pleasant winding road up into the Chartreusse mountains and then an easy walk to the river, forest or mountain meadows. Loads of trails. Can't get enough of this type of wandering.
- Day trip to Annecy
A gem of a place which we will take all our visitors to. A Medieval Quarter where the colours, textures and architecture sing to the eye, daily-made Gelato in flavours that burst the palate like fireworks soaked in lemonade ... and a lake to refresh hot leathering skin.
Check out: http://www.france-for-visitors.com/alps/annecy/index.html
- Day trip to Du Bois Francaise
Reminds me of Elk and Beaver lakes back home, or Algonquin Park in Ontario. More manicured than home, and more stones than sand, but soothing, safe and playful. A place to breath deeply when the oppressive heat in the city centre steals air from our lungs.
- I passed my French test!
Only just. I'm not used to coming so close to the edge with academia. Makes me sweat.
My stinks grammar, but my vocabulary is extensive and exponentially expanding.
- talked extensively with my landlord - M. Dupont.
He has jolly eyes and his hands talk like a Spaniard (which in fact he is) even if he's speaking French. I wish I could listen to his tales. He is valiant - expends great energy trying to help me understand him.
- Festival in our community
We love where we live. Have I said that already? Check out the website http://www.ruelakanal.com/. There are pictures there by Bruno Moyen. Click on Moments de Pause to see a slide show of his photos of our neighbourhood - Championnet. He captures the spirit of this place, manages to show the gleam of character under the smear of dirt, the honed muscles beneath the haggard skin.
- I started losing weight because I'm walking again, and walking at the pace of an adult instead of a four year old (or the pace of an adult carrying a four year old).
- We acquired a new Betta fish: "R2D2Fsh"
I taught him how to jump up and eat a food pellet from my finger. Then one day he leapt up too vigorously and flew four feet onto the floor. Now I use calming words and keep my hands low.
- We held our first party: "Mamma Mia"
One of our friends is French so we put on the French subtitles ... which resulted in French words for the songs. Hilarious. Try it and see if you don't wet yourself.
- Had playdates with two different sets of kids from Callum's school
Two moms have reached out to me and Callum. One of them spent two years in Quebec with her husband and her son in Callum's class was born in Canada. The other is originally from Philadelphia but has lived here for 10 years and is married to a Frenchman. Both have two sons. They're gracious, interesting, globally oriented and intelligent women who have a solid understanding of the challenges I'm facing. I'm grateful they've reached out to me, especially since Callum is the only child in his school who speaks English as a first language. And because there are messages to parents on the chalk board sometimes that have red triangles around them and exclamation marks and I KNOW I need to understand those notes. Allies are not a luxury, they are a necessity.
- Discovered how expensive it is to travel in Europe
- Survived, so far, the global restructuring of Schneider
- Still don't have our stuff but know that it's sitting in a port in Liverpool, England and have filled out all the appropriate additional paperwork except the letter to the mayor of Grenoble which will allow the moving truck to park on our public residential street.
Because the sun does NOT rise and set in my bellybutton, I want to acknowledge that there are many things going on in the lives of our respective families, particularly around health. I celebrate that my mom is holding her own, I hope my sister's tests come back clear, and I'm thrilled that my dad is sickenly healthy. Also, Bravo! Richard for passing your drivers' test. Cindy, how awesome to have your professional photo in "The Watchmen" book. Our love and concern to Auntie Shirley as she recovers from surgery, our joy goes to Ang and George for their recent news, our congrats to Michel, Christopher and David for their Nigerian adventure, and our thanks to all family that hosted and entertained us in England (that includes you Nodge!). Thanks also to many friends and family members who have encouraged, supported and laughed with us/at us during our transition.
EPIPHANIES AND HIGHLIGHTS
According to a friend of mine who teaches English and has studied the psychological patterns of people who move to a new country, there's a dramatic dip in attitude at the 3 - 4 month mark. Much to my chagrin I exactly fit the profile. There I was at the three month mark: wondering why it takes 45 minutes to arrange a new delivery date for a clothes dryer (not including the amount of time it took me to look up the vocabulary involved or review how to sound out numbers, say my alphabet and spell my name); wondering how I can console my husband as he longs for his former team's camaraderie and struggles with the culture shock of a French workplace; wondering why I've severed my son from his Canadian playmates and instead am dropping him off in a pure French school where he doesn't understand the rules and has anxiety because he can't explain himself when he gets into trouble; wondering what possessed me to move to a country whose people thrive on bread and cheese when my son is allergic to both of these things; wondering when I'll be able to hold a conversation in French rather than repeat a script in a bad accent; and questioning a move that nailed us to the wall financially and took us far from family, friends, playdates and a magnificent coastline...
Lots of doubt, focus on what we'd given up and a poisonous dose of "poor me" kept me in a black mood for about three days. I drank wine, walked in the rain and watched multiple episodes of "House" and "The Tudors". In keen synchronization, Grenoble sported thunder storms. Then I got over my maladie and started reapplying myself to viewing this move as an adventure ... and we went on holiday. That ALWAYS helps.
It's been an incredibly busy two months.
APRIL in a nutshell:
- England for 16 days to celebrate Grandma Gilly's Birthday
My in-laws were gracious and fun. Callum and I had some intriguing adventures (see photos) on our own by train and with Uncle Mark, and then Colin joined us for the celebration of his mom's birthday. What a riot. We had a spectacular day at Castle Howard, there was a surprise party for Grandma Gilly in the evening, a meal the following day and lots of visiting with the Walker/Wray/Bowie side of the family tree. We also managed to spend some quality time with Great Grandma Bucknell and the Bucknell side. Overall it was an excellent visit.
- Colin picked out a stove, fridge, washer, dryer, music player and T.V. and did a smashing job.
I've never loved my appliances before. These are brand new, brushed steel (one) and energy efficient. They're sensible and sexy. How is that possible?
- We moved into our new apartment
We love the location. Lots of parks, great activities to walk to (climbing, outdoor markets, swimming pools, etc.), close to friends and/or public transport. We can see two sets of mountains from our two balconies and there's a new shopping area and park being built across the street. I walk Callum to school, Colin only needs to take one bus to work and I walk to my French classes. The apartment itself is sunny, quiet, spacious and has great water pressure, wooden and tiled floors and a large tub. In addition there is a bike locker and "a cave." The cave is damp and creepy. If we were truly French we'd use it as a cellar and keep our wine there. As it is, whatever needs to be stored but can deter mould will probably wiggle its way down there. To top it all off, our landlord is awesome. Jolly and retired, he responds to most requests within two days. Thanks also to Sylvie, our relocation specialist who has turned many a bureaucratic nightmare into a smooth move.
- We borrowed items from friends (mostly Steph and Andrew - THANKS!) and did a massive IKEA shop after we realized we had no way of eating, sleeping and washing in an empty shell of a home.
- Callum started school
Agony. I don't recall much in my life that has ripped me apart like this. Prying my bawling orangatang-limbed child off my body and handing him over to a teacher he can't even talk to, knowing he doesn't understand the rules or what's being said about him, and having him at the mercy of the good graces (ha!) of kids during recess was a hideously nauseating experience. He was so desperate not to go to school that he felt sick and even faked a broken leg. For two weeks I felt like a blind person, unable to see beyond the grief, anxiety and loneliness of Callum. His teacher, Helene Lazzarotto, was awesome - she would take him from my arms and he would wrap himself around her, a safe harbour. Another parent told me Helene would hold Callum for 2 - 5 minutes, until he'd gathered himself together and was ready to mix with the other kids. Helene wasn't worried about him, she could see that he's motivated by his desire to be social.
Now, six weeks after he started attending school, he's happier. He delights in time with kids and they like him. Their eyes light up when they see him. They greet him with: "Bonjour Callum" or "Cou cou." That last saying legitimately means hello, although I scolded Callum for it until I caught on. Loads of kids call his name on the playground after school and parents and kids greet both of us. We're starting to run into people we know when we're downtown and even when we were in Paris! Callum, on his part, has had to learn not to talk during quiet time, not to dance during story time, and to walk holding hands when going on field trips. Apparently he talks a lot, tells epic stories (He says he's teaching the kids English). He still has anxiety around pooing at school (given the lack of privacy in the wee washrooms I'm not surprised), not comprehending expectations and getting in trouble. What bothers me most is that he currently sees himself as stupid because he can't understand what is going on, but as he learns French things will get better. After all, it's only been six weeks.
The teachers think he'll be bilingual by Christmas.
- Paris for 2.5 days
Awesome and intense. We did a whirlwind visit that included a national holiday on the Friday and the witnessing of a massive 1.5 million people demonstration, a visit to the Notre Dame Cathedral, the Sacre Coeur and the Louvre, a wander around the Left Bank which is the district for philosophers, artists and musicians, and a hike up the infamous Eiffel Tower. See photos.
- Eurodisney for 2.5 days
Also awesome and intense! What a hoot. The most relaxing holiday we've had in a long time. Just pure fun. The Disneyland Resort covers 500 acres, dedicated to inspiring wonder and promoting family fun. The studios specialized in creating magic with stunts, special effects and spectacular sets. The Parc presented five lands for exploration. At first I was reluctant to tell people we were going, but for a family needing relief from stress and where all members are thrill seekers who thrive on stimulation of the imagination, it was a cool trip. Callum was hilarious. When we entered the Parc he said, "Look out Disney, here I come!" and "Oh yeah!" When he dropped his scoop of gelato he took my hand and led me over and said, "Let me show you the scene of the accident..." When facing thrill rides like roller coasters, he would proclaim, "Bring it on!" Such a passionate, clever and adventurous little guy.
One weird thing that I noticed at Disney is the fascination Europe has with cowboys and Indians. Davy Crocket, the Wild West and Wild Bill Hickock are all popular here, as well as shotguns, runaway mining trains, bows and arrows. In Children's Literature and in French toy stores plenty is available regarding the history of North America that would be considered politically and anthropologically incorrect in Canada. Some Europeans find our fascination with Knights and the medieval times equally as odd.
- I learned how to pay bills in French
You would not believe how long it took me to figuere that stuff out. Thanks again Sylvie! (She rescues/educates us when we get too befuddled by French paperwork, methodology or the contrast between rules and subsequent actions taken).
- I learned how to fix our boiler
- We dealt with a leaky toilet
- We successfully returned our DVD player
But did not successfully pick up another one. It took 6 weeks for them to say come and get a different one (ours broke on the second use). They called us in, but didn't tell us they have none in stock. Would we take a floor model? No.
- Callum started speaking French
MAY 7 = Callum voluntarily said "Merci" and "Au revoir". He can now say, "Je m'appelle Callum." He comes out with words here and there, but in general says that he can understand stuff but not speak it. I get it. I can see it in him and in myself. My vocabulary has increased tremendously but the more I comprehend the vast sea of French grammar the less I can bring myself to bastardize this beautiful language.
- French lessons for Colin and myself
- Figuered out where to buy cheaper, fresher vegetables
- I had an appointment at the Grenobel Graduate School of Business, seriously checked out the MBA program (with tuition starting at 24,000 Euros I don't think so!).
My friend Isabelle pointed out how useful this would be at this juncture of my career. The international program sounds perfect for me and would give me a leg up in the workplace, but it's way too costly even though they take my experience into consideration. I may consider a diploma though. Grenoble Graduate School of Business has several locations: Grenoble, London, Moscow, Tbilisi, Chisinau, Malta. There are 12 countries represented in their program at present. It would be so cool to do a Masters of International Business. It speaks to the anthropologist in me. Check out http://www.grenoble-em.com/.
- Colin started snowboarding on the Wii.
Gathered infinitesemal points, dude.
- We all started doing Wii fit.
We made icons of our loved ones on the Wii so that you do soccer, step classes, hula hooping, yoga and boxing right alongside us. Many thanks to Ang and George for this most generous gift.
- I found a family doctor who speaks some English (his wife is from Quebec).
- Still don't have our stuff - and don't know where it is!
MAY in a nutshell:
- time with new-found friends
- figuered out a budget XXX Boo Hiss.
In April I was more stymied. I didn't have a residence permit, a work permit, the ability to speak French and also jobs are being cut right now, not created. In May I got my residency permit and the permission to work ... for the next 10 years. I'm legit and they're not going to kick me out of the country! Now I really need to concentrate on learning French so that I can seek employment once Callum is back in school in September. The upbeat part of this is that even though we live in the 2nd most expensive location in France (England is cheaper!), the exchange rate to the Canadian dollar is great.
- figuered out French holidays - complicated but wonderful.
I'm not even going to try to explain this triple-tiered behemoth called Jabberwocky.
- learned how the French residents get deals on travel
I bought a resident pass for the trains which gives me 25% off all the time, and 50% off for me and three other people on all weekends and holidays for my region and the five closest to the Rhone-Alps. Handy. Learning the websites to keep an eye on, how to get deals on car rentals, and how Schneider reimburses portions of plane travel. We're still getting too excited though about where we can go, and need to keep a closer eye on our bank account.
For those of you travelling here, sometimes the deals are better if bought outside of the country. Also, getting to and from Grenoble is not cheap. The cheap deals are through Paris and London.
- Day trip to Lyon
Awesome. See photos. Met a man there who runs a vineyard where people can stay overnight. We may do so ... his website is http://www.grille-midi.com/. Lyon is faster paced, larger and louder than Grenoble. We've realized through our travels through France so far that we like the people in Grenoble the best. They're friendly, straightforward and unpretentious.
- Day trip to St. Pierre en Chartreusse
One of our favourite places. A pleasant winding road up into the Chartreusse mountains and then an easy walk to the river, forest or mountain meadows. Loads of trails. Can't get enough of this type of wandering.
- Day trip to Annecy
A gem of a place which we will take all our visitors to. A Medieval Quarter where the colours, textures and architecture sing to the eye, daily-made Gelato in flavours that burst the palate like fireworks soaked in lemonade ... and a lake to refresh hot leathering skin.
Check out: http://www.france-for-visitors.com/alps/annecy/index.html
- Day trip to Du Bois Francaise
Reminds me of Elk and Beaver lakes back home, or Algonquin Park in Ontario. More manicured than home, and more stones than sand, but soothing, safe and playful. A place to breath deeply when the oppressive heat in the city centre steals air from our lungs.
- I passed my French test!
Only just. I'm not used to coming so close to the edge with academia. Makes me sweat.
My stinks grammar, but my vocabulary is extensive and exponentially expanding.
- talked extensively with my landlord - M. Dupont.
He has jolly eyes and his hands talk like a Spaniard (which in fact he is) even if he's speaking French. I wish I could listen to his tales. He is valiant - expends great energy trying to help me understand him.
- Festival in our community
We love where we live. Have I said that already? Check out the website http://www.ruelakanal.com/. There are pictures there by Bruno Moyen. Click on Moments de Pause to see a slide show of his photos of our neighbourhood - Championnet. He captures the spirit of this place, manages to show the gleam of character under the smear of dirt, the honed muscles beneath the haggard skin.
- I started losing weight because I'm walking again, and walking at the pace of an adult instead of a four year old (or the pace of an adult carrying a four year old).
- We acquired a new Betta fish: "R2D2Fsh"
I taught him how to jump up and eat a food pellet from my finger. Then one day he leapt up too vigorously and flew four feet onto the floor. Now I use calming words and keep my hands low.
- We held our first party: "Mamma Mia"
One of our friends is French so we put on the French subtitles ... which resulted in French words for the songs. Hilarious. Try it and see if you don't wet yourself.
- Had playdates with two different sets of kids from Callum's school
Two moms have reached out to me and Callum. One of them spent two years in Quebec with her husband and her son in Callum's class was born in Canada. The other is originally from Philadelphia but has lived here for 10 years and is married to a Frenchman. Both have two sons. They're gracious, interesting, globally oriented and intelligent women who have a solid understanding of the challenges I'm facing. I'm grateful they've reached out to me, especially since Callum is the only child in his school who speaks English as a first language. And because there are messages to parents on the chalk board sometimes that have red triangles around them and exclamation marks and I KNOW I need to understand those notes. Allies are not a luxury, they are a necessity.
- Discovered how expensive it is to travel in Europe
- Survived, so far, the global restructuring of Schneider
- Still don't have our stuff but know that it's sitting in a port in Liverpool, England and have filled out all the appropriate additional paperwork except the letter to the mayor of Grenoble which will allow the moving truck to park on our public residential street.
Because the sun does NOT rise and set in my bellybutton, I want to acknowledge that there are many things going on in the lives of our respective families, particularly around health. I celebrate that my mom is holding her own, I hope my sister's tests come back clear, and I'm thrilled that my dad is sickenly healthy. Also, Bravo! Richard for passing your drivers' test. Cindy, how awesome to have your professional photo in "The Watchmen" book. Our love and concern to Auntie Shirley as she recovers from surgery, our joy goes to Ang and George for their recent news, our congrats to Michel, Christopher and David for their Nigerian adventure, and our thanks to all family that hosted and entertained us in England (that includes you Nodge!). Thanks also to many friends and family members who have encouraged, supported and laughed with us/at us during our transition.
EPIPHANIES AND HIGHLIGHTS
Swimming
I took Callum swimming at a pool the other day. The lifeguard was all over us like a fruit fly on over-ripe papaya. I couldn't figuere out why. I thought he was worried about Callum being in the deep end, but Callum can swim. Turns out Callum's "beach" trunks were inappropriate swimwear. They are considered unhygenic. Speedos are the trunks of choice in pools around here. And for your convenience they can be purchased in any size from the vending machine in the lobby.
So that's what I did. I purchased a pair of tiny trunks for Callum. It made him walk like a cowboy. I don't think he's ever worn anything so tight around his miniscule bottom. In the changeroom he kept saying, "They're too tight!" I reassured him that they would stretch in the water. They did, and he felt better, but it must've still felt odd because for at least the first seven times of him rising out of the pool he would spend a few minutes trying to get his hands down his trunks to readjust himself. When I told a friend of ours of Callum's experience, he said, "You wouldn't catch me in one of those marble bags, no way!" Banana hammock also came up in the conversation as Colin agreed with the assessment. I guess we'll be swimming in lakes this summer.
It Takes a Community to Raise a Child
I've realized that a major area of discomfort for me is that I cannot contribute to community on the playground. I am accustomed to coaching both parts of the equation when there is an altercation with my child. The way to build community is by understanding other points of view, developing compassion and cultivating collaberation. When I can only coach Callum and not speak with other kids in the playground, I feel compromised and handicapped. When Callum cannot benefit from the input of other adults when there are misinterpretations of intent, cultural challenges or development of new skills are required, he is missing out on part of the richness of life. As a person, a Mennonite and a mother I miss being part of a larger community where we can use language as a bridge. I suppose I need to be patient, persistent and have faith that we will get to that point even here, in an adopted country. Maybe the benefits will be even more comprehensive once we push through the initial "mountain" of language acquisition. Derek Pritchard once told me that a person can go wide or go deep. He was talking of learning through travel or community. They aren't mutually exclusive. I hope to do both. I hope Callum will get the best of both "worlds". In the meantime, please note that your presence in our lives, in his life, is precious. You are a part of our community and it takes a community to raise a child.
Weather
It's warm here. It can be 26 degrees and Grenoble residents will still be wearing jackets and scarves. Frightens me. How hot will it get if this is considered chilly? It's actually so muggy some days that it's too hot to eat.
Men in Pink
I love the attitude here. Men wear pink, carry manbags and ride their childrens scooters home after dropping their kids off at school. Such confidence.
Boomerang
People who come here to live for just a few years are called Boomerangs. The French people are more hesitant to invest personal time in you if your contract is finite. Ours is open-ended.
Paris: Photos I wish I'd Taken (saw these incidents but didn't catch them digitally)
1. The guy who was smoking while riding a motorcyle
2. The guy who jay-walked across the street while carrying a glass of wine
3. The couple in the park who kissed so long Colin and I couldn't believe they didn't come up for air. Over 10 minutes for sure.
4. The fellow in the Latin District the moment he realized he'd stepped in dog poo.
5. The fellow frozen in place at the cafe next to the Louvre. He'd just received the check for his burger and beer. We'd looked at the menu in there and it was over 20 Euros for a burger, roughly 30 Canadian dollars. He was in a state of disbelief.
There's a book here called, "Friends, Foes and Countrymen." Seems apt. Everywhere there are potential allies in the midst of this wild ride called life. Adversity greets us daily, but his companion is wonder. I hope you're enjoying life as much as I am.
With love and wishing you good health and joy,
Ramona
P.S. My spell check isn't working properly and my four year old is restless, so I'm bound to be embarassed at some horrendous mistake, but I'll live. I'd rather get this posted. Please take this joyful note in the manner it was intended. Now that's enough of me being overly earnest (result of wholesome Prairie living). Have a great day!
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